At last Saturday’s checkup, my doctor examined my cervix to see how ready we (baby and I ) were. I was 2cm dilated, and the cervix was paper-thin that he could feel the baby’s head. So, I was told to expect to go into labor any time in the following week.
I was afraid that she would come early. I went to work the next day (Sunday), tried to get things wrapped up at work as much as possible. And I was trying to stay longer and make sure things were done every day, in case I won’t be returning. 6 days later, I am still waiting to meet my baby.
This baby is a good baby overall during the 9 months staying inside of my tummy, especially in the last couple months. I don’t have much complains like other mother-to-be. I am still walking around like usual, don’t have heartburn, sleep well (except for midnight restroom breaks), no bad dreams or horrible back problems…
Yesterday was my last day at work before maternity leave. I wished I would give birth after my due date, which is 11/29, so I will have couple days to rest and get prepared. Now I don’t have to work, I am hoping she will come and greet the world a little earlier.
Am I ready? No. Am I anxious? Yes. I don’t think I will ever be ready to become a mom. No body will. And I am so nervous about labor and delivery. Especially after being diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes, I am less optimistic about having a smooth delivery – the unexpected is always possible.
Just couple days away, or even only couple hours later, I will meet my daughter. It is still a little unreal to me that a human being will come out from my body, even though I have been feeling her moves and seen her face through the ultra sound. This will irreversibly make me a mother. And part of my heart will be taken away with her as far as she goes, even to the end of the universe, as long as I live and beyond.
